This morning I woke up. I went to work. Now I'm at the library. Later I have a family thing. Next week Madeline's daycare is closed (lucky me). I have to go to the Post Office before I get back to work. Oh, the exciting days of our lives...
Jessica-- so glad you got a blog... I know that I have your phone number, and I know that you have email, and I know that you have text messages, and I know that we have been friends since we were four, but this somehow seems so much easier... Welcome.
Visit Jessica at the Psych Ward!
Madeline awoke before I wanted to. I set her up with breakfast snacks, Dora, and a new diaper and went back to bed [note that my bedroom and TV are 12' away from each other]. After the first Dora episode was over, Madeline walked into the bedroom, said, "Diaper change, Momma!" and handed me her diaper (she also told me what was in it, but I'll leave out the 'gory' details).
Then was bath time. After bath I had her sit on the potty. She finally went in the potty. She heard it looked down then gave her famous surprise face. I almost cried. We're on our way to a diaper-free home!!
PS-- please don't taunt her by telling her that I posted this in say, 11 years, or so...
I went to a not so sad funeral today. Well, it was still sad. I'm still human; I still don't want to lose anyone close to me, but it was a celebration. Pearl attended the little church that I grew up in from the 40's or 50's until 2 or 3 weeks ago. I will miss her, but everyone there today knew that she's gone on to a better place. Why do I bring this up to you? Because I played the piano at the funeral. Nervous as all get out? Yes, yes, I was. I played my first funeral.
Madeline's 2. She bit me today. Actually, about an hour ago. Still have red teeth marks. I bit her back. But I'm running out of options and patience for this.
Update on moving: I'm working in Harrisonville now instead of Pleasant Hill. Closer to home, farther from school. Therefore, I have decided that we aren't moving until AT LEAST August, maybe later, depending on what we find. I may decide to drive for the semester. I doubt it, but I may. I'm itching to have my own bedroom again.
I was going to post some pictures, but it's taking too dang long. Next time maybe.
Mar-ar-ar-aried. Okay, not "we" as in "me" and "someone." "We" as in my cousin Keri and her fiance Daniel decided to get hitched this coming October. Excited for her? Yes I am. Congratulations, Keri and Daniel. I tried to find some embarrasing pictures to post, but no luck. Guess that will come later. Hee hee hee. Congratulations again. I love you both.
Madeline's birthday was fun. She got some cute little dress up toys and a little Dora doll for her birthday. She also had a little party at datcare, complete with homemade cupcakes. I think she had a good day.
I've been stressed and trying not to write about it here, but I have to. I don't have to, but I am going to anyway. Madeline and I were getting child support checks for just a little while. The amounts were anywhere from $30 to $60 per week. Then they stopped. No word from the state or from the deadbeat. They just stopped. The state sent me a letter telling me that they were looking for him (or his current employer), but no more checks. No deadbeat. For all I know, the guy's dead. Not just living up to his current reputation. He didn't even call on her birthday. Granted, he wasn't there for the birth, so it might be a little hard for him to remember the date. But he didn't call or text or email. Nada. Zip. Zero. Can I call the state and force him to reliquish any rights that he may have at this point? Because, even though I wouldn't have a real conversation with said deadbeat anymore, I'm almost in tears writing this... realizing how much my dad has meant to me, and that he won't ever be a dad. Just a deadbeat. He didn't even call on her birthday.
This morning, my darling daughter was doing the same thing at 7:15 am that she was two years ago. Screaming her head off. I just smiled, hugged her, and told her "Happy Birthday." Though, I wanted to cry too. How in the world am I the mother of a "Terrible Two"? Is that even possible? Well, it is. And she's a perfect two year old. In every way. I am truly blessed with a wonderful daughter. I couldn't ask for one better. Happy, Happy Birthday, Princess Madeline. Happy Birthday.
Madeline can count in Spanish... it's really, really funny. Especially since this mommy hasn't taken any Spanish classes (successfully anyway). I'll have to figure out the whole audio/video clip someday to show you all, but I just got the pictures to work! One thing at a time. Really.
My Uncle Bob (dad's youngest brother) just called, I guess my Aunt Barb (dad's middle sis) is in ICU. Please pray and keep her in your thoughts.
On a happier note-- here's more Madeline pics:
Madeline vs. Marshmellow
My Very own Cat in the Hat
Madeline's Favorite Hat (with one of her favorite uncles in the background there)
Here's the famous "Surprise Face"
Finals are over.
Summer classes begin on Monday.
City wide garage sale is this weekend. I need a dining room set.
I got my summer books via DHL when I ordered them USPS. Darn that extra $12!
I got at least one A and one B for the Spring Semester.
I think I'm going to minor in Spanish. I think.
I have Monday off.
Happy Birthday Harry S Truman.
I haven't set a date for Madeline's party... I'll let you know...
but Finals are over. Spring semester is over. I got at least an A and a B.
I'm writing this as she's beginning a tantrum. Though it seems short lived. She wants a popsicle. We have a policy ("One per customer, per day," as my dad says). She knows this policy. She's had two today. Could explain the current attitude. Possibly. I'm not ready for the terrible two. Better yet, I'm not ready to be a full time student and the mother of a two year old. I am experiencing some great "What if's" right now as it's difficult to find a moment to carry all my groceries inside. But all that aside, I'm still not ready. I've had over two years to prepare for this. I haven't read enough books. Babysat enough kids. Done any case studies. What do I do if my neighbor turns me in to DFS while she's throwing a fit? Smile and try to talk my way out of it? I'm sure we'll be fine. But good Lord Almighty; where does the time go?
This game is becoming more and more a part my adult life... Madeline LOVES to play this at Grandma and Grandpa's (there are more places to hide, of course). Especially in the kitchen...
Here is our new favorite hair style... Okay, Mine! She HATES having her hair brushed or put in a pony or ANYTHING, but it looks cute when she lets me...
But Madeline's allergies make her a rare spotted toddler. The kind you see on the Discovery Channel... okay, maybe not that bad. But for those of you with children or those of you who want to have children... do NOT use adult sun screen on a (almost) two year old. Especially if she won't swallow liquid Benedryl. Just for future reference.
This is my dad's favorite cliche for me. He says it everytime I complain to him about something, but it's probably the best advice anyone could go by. No matter how many laws we have, no matter how many people we have to uphold them, in our lives we will feel cheated; we will feel that someone less deserving than we got the "gold," if you will.
My younger brother and I are fairly close, as siblings go. We try to watch out for each other and talk on a weekly (or bi-weekly) basis. Every now and again, we go fun places like Wal-Mart. In the past 2+ years, we've been to Wal-Mart together quite a few times. He went there with me a few times when I was pregnant, and now sometimes we go with my daughter... Sometimes people mistake us for a couple, but they are swiftly corrected and embarrassed. I'd say that we are known to :many: (as many goes around here) by being the children of local business owners. It has its rewards and drawbacks. We both know lots of kids and parents also through the Christian school we attended through eighth grade. Two years ago, I was mostly belly and all hormones. Matthew and I went to Wal-Mart to grab something for our mother (he was a senior in high school at the time). We walked by a mother of a girl that Matthew had gone to school with all the way through at the Christian school. She said hi to him and walked away. I (even with as hormonal as I was) didn't think a thing of it. Matthew told me later that that same mother nearly ALWAYS stopped and talked to him at places like Wal-Mart. I was almost offended. I was offended when it happened again after I had my baby, the same mother mind you.
Now, I have had tremendously wonderful outreach from my church and my Christian friends. But it's the Christian acquaintances who have not been nice to me since my pregnancy. It's the friends of friends who make comments to my mother and my brother who really make life not fair. It's the little ripples that one pregnancy (which is no one's business but my own; I'm the one who has to take it up with God) that really, really irk me. These ripples make me want to say, "I hope that makes you less of a sinner than I am," out of spite.
I am human, and I do make mistakes. I will always make mistakes; no matter how hard I try to be like Christ. But, "Life's not fair." And I must go on.
This is my 100th post. I'm also edging on one whole year as a "blogger." Craziness. I was thinking that I would have something earth shattering to write, but alas, nothing much new. I have gotten some "sad" responses when I tell people that I am moving 45 minutes away from my current home. IT'S 45 MINUTES! And, the people that have said anything, I DON'T SEE NOW. I'm am extremely excited about taking this step into a new life. Don't burst my bubble, People. Okay, It's no one in blogger world. It's the real world that's popping my bubble and not looking back. But then, isn't that always the way? It's the real world that kicks your butt? Okay, that was supposed to be a little funny, but it wasn't. Sorry about that.
I have one short story to finish and an aesthetics paper to write in the next week and a half. I have no freakin' clue what to write my aesthetics paper on. I was thinking something along the lines of Grammar in America's Colleges and Universities, but my teacher made a big deal about "Whose Grammar? Yours or the Queen's?" So, now, I don't have a clue.
In other news, I'm positive that the terrible two's are coming soon... more on that in less than a month...
In other, other news, I'm getting a bicycle sometime in the near future (for sure). I'm planning on living close enough to campus to ride to school in The Burg and to the park from our apartment in the mean time. I already have the cute little helments and stuff!
Last (but not least), Happy Birthday to my dear (twenty-something) friend, Krystle. Hope you have a great day... see you Saturday.
Me: achoo-achoo-ach00-achoo [note: yes, that a normal Rachel sneeze]
Madeline: Bless-you!
***
Saturday: I couldn't sleep in, but Madeline did. I was getting dressed... all of a sudden I see her head PoP out of the covers, "Hi, Momma!"
"Hi, Madeline!"
"Sleepin'?"
"Were you sleeping?"
"Yeah."
"Did you sleep okay?"
"Yeah."
"Good Morning, Maddie."
"Morning, Mommeeee."
***
"Momma? Momma? Momma?"
"Madeline? Madeline? Madeline?"
"Blues Clues!"
"Do you want to go to Grandma and Grandpa's or watch Blues Clues?"
"Grandpa?"
"Yes, which do you want to do?"
"Grandpa."
"Okay."
"Momma?"
"Madeline?"
"Blues Clues?"
***
My Niece looking at Madeline's new pictures: "OOh, Aunt Rachel, Madeline's pretty!"
"Yes, and you and brother are good-looking kids too, Samantha."
"No, I'm beautiful, and brother's handsome, Rachel."
"Yes, that's right, Samantha."
***
Thursday or Friday, I went to my parents house to give my mom a break, or at least try. I end up carrying Madeline for some fit-throwing reason or another. Daniel (my nephew) says, "Rachel, Madeline's a baby."
"I think she's too heavy to be a baby, Daniel."
"Oh."
First thing he says to his mother after hello when they return from business trip? "Mom, Madeline's not a baby anymore."
***
I was thinking on the way home Saturday night that I needed to get my eyes checked. It's been awhile and the night time is starting to bother me. I was thinking, I'll do it when I get back on some insurance. Then it dawned on me suddenly that I may never have optical insurance. I don't know where that came from, but it hit me hard.
***
I should know this week about school for sure... Oh, I want so badly to go full time...
***
I joined eHarmony a while back... I've reached open communication with one guy... weird way to meet people I know... but at this point... I don't feel like I have a choice.
***
Went to McDonald's with Grandma and Madeline for dinner one night. Madeline and I both had chicken McNuggets and fries. About half-way through the meal... she reaches over and snatched one of my chicken nuggets and goes one eating. It was really comical because I didn't even see it, my mom did.
***
Well, that's all the humor and seriousness I have for this morning... other than, my professor is going to be critiquing stories in front of the class tonight (mine included). Thinking about it is giving my an ulcer... pray for that. Thanks.
"I didn't think that you would want that."
So yesterday, well, let's say Monday night, I had a HORRIBLE sinus headache. Good-bye, Winter; hello, Allergies! I took some prescription strength allergy medicine yesterday that knocked me on my butt. So the things I learned in my adventure:
1. Don't take prescription strength allergy medicine and expect to be "sober" all day!
2. Being sick at the end of the month (for work) is not worth it. You're internal clock will still keep you awake while trying to rest.
3. Call your friends if you want to know what the heck is up.
4. Someone will surprise you and make you want to stay on the phone for 20 minutes even though all you wanted to do 20 minutes ago was sleep.
5. You will realize how much you've not grown up when all you want to do is go sit on your mom's couch and veg b/c you're sick.
6. Your phone will ring.
7. You will wake yourself up to make sure you set your alarm.
8. Your mother will check on you, even at 22, and moved out.
9. Your manager will need something, and will call back if you clear her call.
10. Nothing will taste good.
11. Except maybe water. Water will taste good.
12. Your daughter (roommate, siblings, significant other, etc.) will feel fine and like jumping on your bed.
13. You will realize that you want to hear "it" straight from the "horse's mouth," if you will.
14. People should elope more often. It makes it easier to to want to go to just the reception anyway.
I think I'll quit on that even number.
Congratulations Andrea and Roberto! May God Bless you in your new life together! That's all I can say for now...
I'm trying to think of something to write, but really all of my energy right now is going onto work and righting my 2nd short story (which has to be 15 pages). Currently, I'm eating at my desk wondering where the week went. I've been really, really busy.
I have pretty much talked my self into going to school this fall, full time. It's what I really want to do; I just need to make sure I have the funding for it before I start. I won't be receiving a full Pell Grant like I had hoped, but I did get a pretty good tax refund that I put into a savings account that I have very limited access to (and a good interest rate). That money will either pay all my tuition for next semester (then get a grant for living expenses) or pay for half my car loan (and get a loan/grant for the entire amount I need. I will probably get my little grant, borrow some and use about half of my refund money toward my fall semester. I can't enroll until April 6; we'll have to see what I have talked myself into by then. Now, I just have to decide what to do about the living arrangement. I would like to move to Warrensburg, I believe that's the best way to get to spend time with my little one. And, I'll have to switch daycare anyway to receive state aide. I will definitely be eligible for that. The big disadvantage is not being as close to my parents. I know that they will miss Madeline and she will miss them, but the extra 100 miles on my car per day might just be out-weighing that. It's not far enough that we can't come back on a Saturday or Sunday.
I'm a little random in my argument today. I'm tired. It's Friday. Now, if Madeline would just let me sleep in tomorrow. The past two mornings I've had to wake her up to get her ready (and that's been late [7:10]), but I would bet money that she'll be awake at 6:30am tomorrow. C'est La Vive. Have a great weekend!
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