So the way things go

My posting is dwendeling a little, I know, I know, but I never know if anyone besides DW is reading them anyway, she's the only comment I ever get (Hint, hint, DS and Keri!). I've been really busy at work and school and with Miss Maddie lately. Crazy days at the end of a busy month. I was at work until after 5:30 last night, and still had to take the mail and recordings to our Harrisonville office. I didn't get home until after 6:15 last night. It was craziness, really. I am entering week 4 of 5 for my class... I'm doing better and have a much better learning team this time around, but it's going soooo quickly, I'm not sure that I can really, truly keep up. I have a big paper due next Tues or Wed that I haven't really started. I have half of an outline, that's it. My 9 year old cousin Tori is staying with us this week for VBS... I think I'm going nuts with her there. She's sweet, but she wants to mother my daughter and tell me what to do and I don't like it, but she's leaving Sunday. Sunday. Sunday. I'm taking Maddie and her to the pool tonight, any voluteers to go with?

I am embarking on new adventures everyday, and considering my options. I think my mother thinks I'm crazy, but we will see what happens. I applied to NWMSU with intentions to attend this coming Spring trimester. It will take probably two full years from that time, but I plan to go to school all year round. I am really starting to think that this is the best option for Maddie and for me. I can get into the career I want. I know that I can borrow $$ and work part time to afford rent, food, etc. I have an offer from a friend there to stay with her until I have a place for us, and I have a job at Sonic, if I want it. I have to get accepted again to NW and all that, but it's a thought. It's been pulling at me for awhile that I may want to do this so we'll see what happens.

Scrape, scrape, pinch, pinch.

That's how the wallet goes... I over spent maybe a tad last weekend, I'll be okay, I always am, but it was so much fun. I went to go see my cousin for her birthday... It was just good fun. Maddie was staying at my aunt's house, and she got to play with a puppy... She was very excited. So excited that she can still say puppy. Imagine that.

She was sick and I had to stay home with her on Monday and Tuesday. She's all better and running around like a crazy child now though. No worries.

PS-- I posted this poem on a poets website a couple of nights ago, and someone commented that English wasn't my first language, that I should write it in my native tongue. What? What am I speaking here?

Into the Real World

To the Youth I leave behind

When I act my age, am I then old?

When I do this, am I not

the youth of my mind?

Do I have to do what I am told?

When should I begin to

act my same exact age?

Can I not skip and run and be bold?

Do I have to stop acting as

the child inside to get by?

Must I be learn to be callus and cold?

The world as I know it,

is it left behind?

Can I your hand please hold?

To enter this new world,

grown up inside too?

Do I have to fit the mold?

Of everyone else, and

then move on and on?

Working for the gold?

That cannot pay the

bills that always come?

When I act my age, am I then old?

In the Dark

So I'm at work; I know I should be working, but this is just too good. It's Friday, we're all excited about that. It's payday, even better. We have about 3 or 4 closings scheduled for the day, this morning to be exact. The first one was at 9 am. Right in the middle of the closing there's a loud buzz and a pop. HALF of our electricity went out. HALF. I have a computer, but no lights. I can turn on my electric tart buner, but we don't have A/C. We have 4 computers and 2 work. It's craziness for sure. Our noon closing is here early and we're waiting on his loan officer, I hope he doesn't start to melt in here...

Good news is... Power just came, but who knows for how long??!! Have a good weekend everyone. I'm headed to Savannah, MO for my cousin Keri's 21st birthday. Happy Birthday, Kooowwweeeeee!! Love Always.

Too Young?

I just got told by a salesperson that I look like I'm too young to have children. Is that a compliment?

Places I cannot Go

Family reunion was this weekend. Please remind me next time I am speaking of dragging my daughter 3 hours away from home, how cranky we both become. Miss Maddie did okay, but I know that she was tired of being in the car. She didn't even want to get in the car this morning to head to day care. It was one of those moments that was almost funny (if my parents hadn't made me late)-- I picked her up despite her efforts of staying "ground bound" and lifted her toward her car seat. She let out a little squeal and cry; I took her back out--she stopped. Back in, she let out the little squeal and cry; back to the carseat with her little whines that you want to be able to stop. I finally got her hushed with a promise that we were going to daycare and it wouldn't take long. Once we were moving, she was fine. But the whole experience was pretty cute.

On Saturday morning, she and I drove to my school for a brief meeting with my financial aid officer, then we went to the computer lab where she decided that she did not want to sit in the stroller anymore, but push all the buttons on my keyboard. That didn't last long. I put her back; she objected; I overruled for about 2 minutes. She got out and played with her toys for a little while; then thought it would be fun to walk around the lab (there was no one else there, thank goodness) . Then, we left.

We drove until I realized that I hadn't gotten gas before I left Harrisonville. Where did I realize this? At Winner Rd/24 HWY off of I-435. Not the best area for a single white girl and her baby, but I truly thank God for pay at the pumps in places like those. We did not have to talk to a soul. hallaluah.

We arrived without invitation to the Sonic in Maryville, only to find it had been totally re-built and the mangers on duty were two of my best friends from when I worked there. I was invited to dinner at Applebee's and given a free drink and ice cream for me and the little one. I miss it so much. Not all the crap that I dealt with there, but the whole college atmosphere. Then I was hit with the reality that all my friends from there are graduating next spring. I met them as little freshmen in our dorms or first classes or whatever. I can't believe it really. I want to go back with a passion. I want to succeed at that college more than almost anything I have ever wanted. But I don't think that I will be able to just pick up and move there and not end up living in a hole or under a bridge. Frustrations.

We then proceeded to each grandparents house. I think we caught grandma and grandpa Coffelt napping. Madeline showed off a little there, but quickly fell asleep in my arms. SO, we packed up and went to my Grandma Inman's in Parnell, population 197, and I think that includes cats. Madeline was on top of her game there. She was showing off like I've never seen for her great-grandma. It was really cute. This is the grandma who uses a walker to get around, and Miss Mad thought it was fun to try to shake it and peek through the bars at us. My grandma was pretty "tickled," as she would say, at these happenings. My grandma's house is very, very small and filled with stuff. Lots of stuff. Madeline was trying to get some off this stuff to call her own. It kept me on my toes for sure. She hated the bathroom there (as do I, since the floor slopes to the door on entry--that room is about and inch lower than it used to be), but I had to take her with me as my grandma could not pick her up or keep her from picking up any of her "stuff" and in turn trying to eat it. The whole thing was an adventure.

The actual family reunion was my dad's side on Sunday at 12:30. Maddie let me fall asleep and we were late, but there was still plenty of food. No worries. After the meeting and "wonderful" entertainment (which was better this year, I must say); we always have a family business meeting. We discuss the births and deaths and marriages. We always elect someone as president who isn't in attendance and laugh when they try to pass a motion for that kind of nomination to be "against the rules." This year the hot topic was changing locations. Boy, was it hot. Some of the family is wanting to have the reunion someplace where the kids have something to do. Believe me, after about ten-fifteen minutes on that old swingset in the middle of July at two in the afternoon, that's quite enough, but then you're out of things to do. Most with small children don't even bother (like my very intelligent brother and sister-in-law). One of the "aunts" brought up the point that the reason we get together is for everyone to get to know each other. You can tell that her children are twenty something and thirty something. Do you know how long a one year olds attention span is? Barely long enough to eat. If they want the kids to come, they cannot expect them to sit like angels and carry on conversations with the adults. It just doesn't happen. I was afraid of most of the adults as a child, and as they get older--I still am. We nominated a committee to check out other possible locations for next year's reunion. I hope that they are ready for what's in store if the pick some place else. My only problem with the committee is that none of them have small children. Not that anyone with small children would have time for this, but still.

Sorry so windy today. That's what happens when I hang out with my family though. Beware!! Have a great day!!

Nose to the Grindstone

So back at it today... Not really wanting to even be awake and it's lunchtime by now. Maddie woke me up twice last night, I guess she was feeling the same impending doom that I was in the coming work day. But I think I'm coming down with something... I may need to be home tomorrow [insert fake coughing noise here]. I don't have much to catch up on today, which is good, but not. I don't feel like anyone even noticed I was gone. But this isn't the busier time of the month for us (always a justification for such a feeling). I had class last night and some last minute hundred things to finish up for that TODAY... So maybe I should work on that instead of posting, yeah... Probably so.

I have a family reunion this weekend in Ravenwood, MO. I will probably come back with a story or two of my disappearing daughter who magically reappears for food or diapering. Or a story of my father the family entertainment emcee and his cheesy routine. Alas, C'est la vie. What's a girl to do?

Prayer for the day: Lord, please, give me the determination to go the places I want to go... So this life won't pass me right by.

A Day of Relaxation

So I have today and tomorrow off work... it's so nice. Maddie's at daycare and we slept in til 8:15. That's a huge accomplishment... I know you all are thinking "8:15, yeah, I roll over then, but really, I haven't slept straight through to 8am in well over a year. I feel soooooo rested... it's soooo nice. I don't know how I'm going to go back to workThursay when I have to get up so early! But I'm sure Maddie will be back to herself by then. We got lots and lots of fireworks in this weekend... she really liked some of them, but she was also very very sleepy for some of them so a little cranky,but good.

Hannah's wedding was Saturday evening... yeah, I have to admit that I cried. She had a little video about the two of them... I think that many people may have had a tear or two. The wedding was beautiful, as was the bride. Very traditional and Mennonite I think. I felt a little "heathon-ish" being there, but it wasn't about me. And I'll have you know that I didn't catch the bouquet... Neither did any of you, I may add, so, A night out to scope for guys?? LOL, right.

I am scouting apartments here in Harrisonville for lack of the means to go where ever I want... I found on today that includes a washer and dryer... I think that people around here must have a contract with the local laudry mats because rarely do even the houses for rent include that. It's not fun. I don't want to take Madeline to a laundry mat if I don't have to.

Hope that everyone had a safe and happy Independence day. And that you took a moment to appriciate what it's all about!! Have a great day!

Almost Done

This coming Wednesday is my last class!! Yea! So excited. Not that it hasn't been all sorts of fun, but it will be great to get that first one out of the way and move on. I'm ready.

Saturday is hannah's wedding. Can anyone believe that? i cannot. It's gotten here sooooo quickly for me. I can't believe that it happening, but I think that she is REALLY ready for this. I know it's been a big stressor for her for a while now.

My daughter is sick. The doctor diagnosed her with foot, hand, & mouth virus. The real name starts with an 'ST' and ends in 'MITUS' or something, but I cannot remember what that name is. There's nothing that they can do I guess... it has to run its course, and we ahve to keep an eye on her fever. Lots of fun. It's super contageous so I have had to try to clean everything... I've heard that's good practice so when she gets to school and they THINK she has lice, I'll have to do the same thing. But can I get this foot, hand, mouth thing? The tingle in my throat and little ping on my thumb is just my body's way of freaking me out right? Dr. Danielle???

Class, class, class...

So our learning team is meeting at the school tonight... I have no idea where in the school, but somewhere. I have been there once and know where the bathroom and that one classroom are... That's it. Good luck, Rachel. I don't even have our assignment done this week. Frankly, I don't want to do it. I know it's a bad attitude, but I have other things to work on tonight rather than this paper, but this is the last paper. Our last night is next Wednesday! YEA! But then I have another class starting on the 13th. They can't give me a couple of week to relax or anything, huh?

So I stayed up last night to work on my paper, yeah that didn't happen too well. I almost got through my abstract. So guess who's staying up late tonight? Yeah... I spent too much time dealing with learning team drama and chatting than I did working... Oh well, better luck next time.

Self improvement tip of the day: Keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open, you just might learn something.

I GOT AN 'A'

I did our Learning Team assignment, and we got a perfect score. See what a little concentration and bullying can get you? LOL. Anyways, got that score back, now I need to do my paper that's due Wed. 5 pages... Haven't started. Yeah, maybe I should be working on that...

Friday a group of us went out, Okay, most of the people that read this are the ones that went. It was a good time. It was a birthday/bachlorette party. Should have been a blast, really wasn't that great. It could have been better. The whole time I was thinking, why isn't she having fun? Why won't she just smile? At one point I wanted to shake our birthday girl/bride-to-be and yell, HAVE SOME FUN! Narrow-mindedly thinking that since I have fun going to the city and bar-hopping, why the heck isn't she? There more than the blasted 30 mile radius that she sees everyday to life. But then, I had to control the drunken (tipsy, really, we walked around too much to be very drunk) tongue and not make the night any worse. On the way home while talking to her, it hit me: She's happy. She really is happy. She has a great fiance', a good family, a nice house to move into, a good job-- everything she's ever really wanted anyway. Why should our search for Friday night fulfillment interfere with something like that? So bars aren't her thing, so what? It would have been great to have had this kind of epiphany BEFORE the party, but it was still good to get out for a change. I think that she did have enough fun to justify the time and money spent out too. Better luck next bachlorette party, I guess. So, who's next?

Remind me

Please remind me why I'm going to school. Really. My learning team for the week before this last got 75% on our assignment. I offered 3 times to help anyone who need help so we could get a good grade, not a C. I did most of the work on this last one. We better get an A.

I woke up and thought it was Saturday this morning. I am not sure why b/c I have plans tonight, and Lord knows I didn't leave the house last night long enough for Friday night plans!!

Sorry I'm so solemn... Just really, really ready for this weekend. Have a good one everybody!!

Happy Father's Day...

So yesterday was Father's day... we celebrated at my home... Steven and Tina and the kids were all there. It was a good time... The men aired up a little pool for the kids and they all splashed around (some big kids like Steven included). My little girl turned out to be quite the little water baby even though the water was a little chilly. I was thinking back to all the Father's days and special times I had shared with my dad and became a little sad. Sad that my daughter will probably never have that kind of relationship with her father. It made me want to cry a little that even if that kind of thing is "normal" now that I don't know how to handle it, then all sorts of situations that I'm not equipped to handle came to mind and I had to change the subject in my mind. How can being a single parent ever be normal for a child. I think that she will miss a lot not having her father around. Maybe not... maybe everything will work out just fine. It will all be new and different.

Ok... on to something else: Krystle Gaddy is out of the hospital as of last night. She'll be staying with a friend in Archie until she can move around a little more. She still has lots of recouperation, but she will be fine.

SOOOOO.... Yeah

Not much happening, yet still I write. I'm so ready for a weekend, and hope that the upcoming one will be productive. Need to clean and work on home work. I have another paper coming up, maybe I'll get started on it aheard of time, 'ya think?

But I must have a proud mommy moment: My little girl now has darn near 7 teeth and is taking up to 7-8 steps all by herself. She is growing up so much. It's just beautiful to be experiencing that with her. She smiles and giggles when she sees me and says "Uh-Oh!" when she "drops" something on the floor. She shrugs her little shoulder and is learning to bat her eyes at her grandma and grandpa to get what she wants. She sleeps through the night now and eats "big people food" like a champ and LOVES watermelon! I sometimes wish that I could just stay home and be with her and remember EVERY little cuteness about her. Last night, she danced a little with my brother Matthew and showed him for the first time that she could walk more than one step. He was very impressed with his niece, but what do you expect? So far, every stage of her life thus far is my favorite. And I hope and pray that that she will always be this wonderful and happy.

Hey, please be sure to check out my poems link of my latest. I'm so excited about getting it all up and running...

Who Needs Homework?

Oh, yeah... that would be me!! I have a paper due tomorrow, but who works ahead on these kinds of things, seriously? I haven't even read up on my reasearch... I'll be up late the next couple of nights. It's supposed to be 700-1050 words... not too bad, but then again it is b/c I haven't written a real paper for quite a little while. I don't really have anything else going on right now (that's a good thing), I probably need to concentrate some on school, 'ya think!?!?

FRIDAY!! IT'S FRIDAY!!

Yeah... ready to go HOME... really ready. It's been a long week. And it will be a long weekend trying to get my homework all in... we'll see what happens.

Hey, I got my Sears pictures of Miss Maddie back today, SOOOOOO cute! SOOOOO excited!

Here's an update on Monica:

Monica has been moved to Menorah and is settling in just fine. She was having a really good day yesterday and Tina thinks the change of scenery was good.

Unfortunately, due to the extent of her injuries, Rehab will be a very slow process and they have to take small steps at a time. Right now, they are working to get her comfortable with the wheelchair and the ability to transfer to and from the chair. She is learning to be more self sufficient for now. They plan to release her in the next 7 to 10 days. She will be able to heal better in the comfort of her own home and her own bed which will be good for everyone.
I sensed a great deal of frustration in Tina's voice yesterday because the reality of the wheelchair hit them pretty hard. It's easy to get caught up in all of the progress made from the standpoint of putting the broken pieces back together, but now, the slow painful task of learning to walk is upon them. Monica will be in the wheelchair for a long time and that is difficult to accept, but everyone is positive and hopeful about the prospects of her walking again. It just takes a long time to make that happen.

Tina is hanging tough and looks forward to getting back to work next week. Not sure what day yet, but she is ready to get going again. I'll let everyone know when she's back and you can wish her well.

She tells me every time we talk how much they all appreciate the cards and thoughts from everyone in the company. It has really touched them and you have all made a difference.

Here we are on Friday again and one of our own is still hurting. Have a great weekend, hug those you care about and be careful on the road.

Have a wonderful weekend everybody!!

"Disturbing" at dailydancer.com

This blogspot where you are reading me right now has what is called a "Dashboard" where they leave important and not so important messages for their members. Anything from maitentence to Blogs that they have noticed recently. The later of which is sometimes quite interesting. But today, no not today. Today, it was disturbing. I innocently click on "daily dancer" to see what the hype could be about, expecting maybe a ticked off broadway dancer or maybe even an exotic dancer. No, that's not what the blog is about. This is what the heading says:

WELCOME TO DAILYDANCER.COM!
I am Daily Dancer, a computer geek who loves to dance!
Every weekday morning, you can watch me dance to a different
song. If you like my blog, please tell people about it. If you have a
website, please add a link to mine. I will add a link to yours as well.

And I spared you the pictures and banners and videos, but you can check them out at your own risk. It's scary. I wasn't sure if he was being serious or kidding or just plain weird. He actually post something like 5 videos a WEEK of himself dancing away. And not like tap, jazz, ballet, or modern dance. It's just him standing in his home jumping and jiving in an off-beat sort of way. Why would he (and his girlfriends, poor thing) subject himself to publishing these things? Anybody can get there, I did. What if his boss gets there? ThenAnd, he's a computer geek. It's very obvious by his looks and attire too. Creep me out. Why would the Dashboard even put his site on there... it's not good, not good at all...

I'm going to school, I'm going to school

Off to school I go!! I start classes tonight at Univeristy of Pheonix at KC. I am very anxious to get going. It's been awhile since I was in a classroom and tonight will be a great learning experience. Wish me luck!

Update on Monica

I received an email update about Monica this morning:

I spoke to Tina this weekend and have good new to report. Monica was moved to a
private room this weekend and she and Tina both feel much better. She has been
fitted with braces for her legs and they put her in a machine that slowly moves
her legs to help bring back flexibility. She sat up yesterday for about 10
minutes and will continue to do that adding minutes daily. Her fever has been
very manageable and her lung function is improving all the time. She does
breathing treatments and exercises frequently and continues to get
stronger.
If all goes well, they hope to move her to Menorah Medical Center
(119th & Nall) by Wednesday to get her into their re-hab program. OPRC
doesn't have a real "in-patient" re-hab department so the Orthopedic Docs at
Menorah will take over from there.
She still has a long road ahead of her but
things continue to improve and she seems to be in good spirits. Tina said just
moving to a private room felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. She
really sounded good on the phone yesterday and spoke really positively.

And I ran into my 7th grade teacher Mrs. Turner today at Raymore Wal-Mart... it was weird to see her there. It was also really hard to tell her that I am a single mom. I don't know why it was; I've never really had a problem with it before. But it really got to me this time. I wanted to cry. But she is so sweet and gave me a big hug... I hadn't seen her since my brother graduated from 8th grade in '01. It was a real flash back to slacks and skirts and those akward years of trying to fit in.

PS-- Check out my photo albumn for Hannah's bridle pictures!! :)

What happens when you JUST DON'T CARE!?

I have worked for my parents' company for almost a year now and have asked twice for a promotion to no avail. Not that they are not thinking about it or have outright rejected my request, they have just not said a GD word to me about it. It's like I have never even asked in the first place. I can get over rejection and would be elated with a yes! But haven't heard ANYTHING and am going CRAZY. I start school NEXT WEEK (about the time DS gets out of hiding, I'll be into hiding, trying to get my homework done), and I need answers to get my life in some sort of order, and I don't want to do it living at my parents' basement forever. Today, one of my co-workers from Pleasant Hill went on a tangent today about how the company should make me a processor. That made me feel good, like I'm not the only one wanting this.... Maybe I'll find a second to call my manager today. Maybe today.

The "It's a Small World" Phenomenon

I read a 13 page paper last night written by someone I didn't even know existed, but who is almost related to me. Dr. Steven Hageman is my uncle's brother (my dad's 2nd youngest sister's husband's brother, which helps him with a point). He is a well educated, well traveled and well versed man in his late 30's I'd say who probably gave this paper to his brother who in turn gave it to his mother in law, who gave it to my dad last weekend. It's basically saying, "Yes, it IS a small world," and that there are 4 types of phenomena that people experience.

The 4 types are something to the affect of 1) running into an acquaintance (someone you recognize) at some unexpected place at some unexpected time, 2) sharing a common acquaintance or relative with a stranger, 3) sharing a common experience with a stranger then meeting them again later, and 4) some combination of the above three. And that the odds of predicting the exact "mystical" happening are slim to none, the odds of something of a "small word" experience SOMETIME in the future is VERY probable. I was very intrigued by his thinking and his "small world" stories.

First of all, he says to estimate the number of people you know... Then keep thinking about the number of people that you are just "acquainted" with, and then those you would recognize from town or church or work-whatever. This number he estimates is near the 10K mark for most people (some higher, some lower). Then think that you and the people that you know the best, or have ever known, probably share interests with you. You will probably see them somewhere that you have a common interest point (museums, conerts, conference, etc.).

Then think about everyone that you have ever known and the probability of running into a stranger that has ever known them, a teacher, an ex-girl/boyfriend's mother, an aunt, a tour guide. The possibilities are really endless.

It puts everything in to a perspective that I hadn't really thought about before, but had accepted because EVERYWHERE my father goes, he knows someone. And I mean EVERYWHERE. When we took our 2 vacations of our lives one to SD and the other to MN, BOTH times my dad saw someone somewhere that he know. I just kept thinking, Can't we take you anywhere? But this paper proves that it's not just my dad who runs into people like that, everyonw does.