Warning: Kids + Cupcakes = No Fun for Mom

This is not for those who have a weak stomach (or for those who have ideal expectations for parenting). The story I'm about to tell is very gross, but funny in that way that irony is funny. Maybe it's more funny for fellow parents. Just beware.

Almost every weekend, Madeline and I make the trek to my mom and dad's house. It's the best bribing tool I have to keep her in line for a whole week. And besides, this week is finals and I needed someone to keep her away from my computer, research, text books, print-outs, and notebooks so that I wouldn't lose my temper. So, I packed up the car, picked her up from daycare, and headed down the road.

Important aside: Friday was Maddie's "favorite teacher friend's" last day at the daycare, since she is moving to Florida. I think one of the more "fun" (read: less busy) parents brought cupcakes for the kids. I think it was a party day (I pulled my first all-nighter of the semester Thursday night, so I'm a little fuzzy on the details from Friday morning when they were telling me the plan for the day).

I decided to take the "back" way from the 'Burg to the 'Ville in order to avoid the late afternoon traffic and check out the scenery along the way. The back way is still all highway, but it's the two lane highway that is to be avoided during any kind of "abnormal" weather. We turned from the North-South highway onto the East-West high way, and Maddie said, "Mommy, my tummy hurts." I told her that we would be to Papa and Granny's house soon (as if soon is still 30 minutes away). She tells me that her "tummy hurts" often, as she has figured out that it has the potential to get her out of going to school, so I didn't pay much attention. Not that there was much that I could do...

About 5 minutes (and a couple of "thrill hill" types) later...I heard her coughing and looked back to see if she was okay. She was not...she exploded in my back seat. More than once. I was very ill-prepared for this moment. I knew that sooner or later that this would happen while she's riding in my car. However, I had no idea that it would happen 15 miles from the nearest gas station. Seriously. The girl picked not just "no where," but smack in the middle of no where to torture her mother. Okay, so she didn't "pick" it, but really, couldn't it have happened someplace where I could have pulled off the road and taken her inside a building to change her clothes? Or washed her face?

We pulled onto a gravel road and cleaned out the car. Luckily, my pack-rat refusal to clean out my car until after finals served me well. I had extra Wal-Mart bags to help contain the wreckage. I had to change her clothes and clean out her car seat. It was the grossest thing ever. Ever. I like to think that I'm a tough chick, and maybe it was just the lack of sleep, but I don't think so. I used something like 50 handy wipes and two bottles of water (which I keep in my trunk) to help contain the grossness. Poor Madeline got her first lesson in gargling, too. I handed her a water bottle, and told her what to do. She would have made a red-neck proud with her spitting technique. After that, she said she felt better.

Maddie kept saying, "I'm so sorry, Mama," while I was cleaning up. I kept telling her that I wasn't at all mad, but I'm sure that my facial expressions were not very reassuring. Poor thing.

We got it all cleaned up and packed away and hit the road again. Before my Maddie drifted into nap time, she said, "Mama, I love you." And that made the whole thing much easier to bear.