Summer, O, Summer, Where have you gone?

Okay, that is a little dramatic, but I am very concerned about the beginning of autumn, by that I mean the school year, creeping up oh-so-quickly. I start my grad class this year before my first day of teaching. Of course, I have meetings, meetings, and more meetings before the school year begins. And I need to have some idea of in the world I'm going to teach my students. Yeah, that might be important.

I started looking at the "Course-Level Expectations," as they are referred to here in this great state, and since they've changed since I was in class, I'm a little lost. So, I'm looking at them for a guide and I'm going to fill out that part of my lesson plans later. As in, after I talk to someone who knows what is going on, since I haven't a clue.

We've gotten moved and somewhat settled in our new place. I love the extra roominess of a house, but I'm already dreading that I have to be the one to mow the yard. Especially when it's hot like it is this week. I think next summer I will find someone to mow it for me! I am thankful for neighbors who have the same mindset as I do with mowing--every two weeks gets the job done! Not kidding the neighbors on both sides of my house mow every two weeks. How lucky is that?

Madeline was not initially excited about the move. I think that she is better with it now that we've been there a couple of weeks. Her room is the only one that is completely unpacked. Her play room area is missing a shelf, so therefore, the toys are not all unpacked. I'm already out of shelf space in my office, so not all my notebooks are unpacked. The kitchen is...well, not done. My room is pretty much unpacked, but I'm still in the process of deciding exactly which clothes can be packed into boxes that go in the garage and which can stay in the house, since meetings start next Friday.

Last week, Madeline and I went to Wal-Mart to buy her school supplies. We found everything we needed. And it's all Hannah Montana. Yeah, that's what I said. I was just starting to appreciate Dora, but now we have to move on to Hannah. Oh boy. I'm not sure what kind of shape I'm going to be in on the first day of school though. Buying the supplies was tough, let alone sending her into that kindergarten classroom. Where did the last five years go? Really?

From Motherhood and Student-hood to Motherhood and Teaching

I had almost decided to shut down this blog. Then decided that I need a place to write, even if no one is reading anymore.

I've treasured the time that I've had with my daughter since I've gone back to finish my degree. I feel like I've gotten to sneak in some extra hours at the park or playing games with her that typical working moms don't get to. At least I didn't when I worked.

Now, as I'm readying myself to enter the full-time work force, I wonder what kinds of sacrifices I'll have to make with family time. Will I have to be at the school for hours while she waits in boredom? Will she despise the profession of education as I despise the profession of business because of all the time she'll have to spend there? Or will she not want to attend college because she'll remember all the nights I've had to tell her that "Mommy's working on a paper right now; please, please, please, please go play in the OTHER room, now"?

Or will she continue the path that she's on? She pretends to teach me, her dolls, her stuffed animals, and her invisible friends, which I hope is a completely normal stage for a girl being raised as an only child. Maybe she'll be a teacher.

What will change next school year when she's in kindergarten? Will she learn all the concepts that I've worked so hard to shelter her from? Will she get special treatment because her mother's a teacher in the district? I hope not. This will not help her princess attitude in the least.

With the random selection of undergraduate classes that I'm enrolled in for the semester comes a new group of faces that I've never had classes with before. Some of them were born after I began kindergarten. Really. Some of them are closer to my age though. By a year or two. Some of them are obnoxious. Some of them are sweet. A few of them I'll even attempt to "friend" on facebook. These few are the ones in my lone English class this semester. They are young, nosey, and think they know everything about life. Like I was 5 or 6 years ago.

The braver of the few has asked me about my life. "Is that hard?" she asks of being a single mom. "YES!" I want to scream, but I'm afraid that my hasty answer will scare her away from motherhood forever. It's not that bad. It's just that being a single mother complicates things. It brings on guilt and burdens that mothers in nuclear families probably don't have. Maybe they do--they're just better at masking it than I am. Or maybe they don't have mothers who guilt trip them anytime they need a night out. Maybe.

Back to the braver of the few. She asked me about how hard it is to be a single mom. "It's tough, I'm not gonna lie," I tell her, "but I wouldn't trade it for the world," which is the truth. I told her that honestly I don't know what I would be doing without my daughter in my life right now. Working at Sonic still? I wouldn't have given up the kind of life I was living. It was fun. But everything changed when I saw the plus sign. + started my family. I just wish it wasn't so complicated for her sake.

Random Weekend Update

This weekend we are having a "lazy" weekend. This simply means we're not going anywhere, not that we're not getting stuff (like homework and laundry) done at home. But we are making time for movies. Yesterday we were "snuggling in," as we call it, to watch a movie. Here's the conversation:

Me: Maddie, I'm pretty comfortable. How about you?
Madeline: Yep, I'm pretty.
Me: You mean pretty comfortable?
Madeline: Nope, I'm just pretty, Mom!

We both giggled for about ten minutes afterward! It was so cute. When we would stop giggling, we would look at each other and start up again!

Today, she made a "tent" in the living room. By "tent" I mean any and all of the available blankets, pillows and sheets in the entire apartment are in the middle of my living room floor! She's sleeping there now. As long as she stays there and doesn't try to crawl into my bed, I don't mind at all.

Madeline's latest thing is drawing pictures. She's been drawing pictures of me, in fact. She always writes "Mama" on them too. I have a sneaking suspicion that she does this because "mama" is easier (faster) to write than "Madeline"!

As some of you know, Madeline switched preschool/daycare facilities this last summer. Since then, she's had a difficult time adjusting to the new one. I think that she was getting away with alot, and I mean alot, at the the former daycare that she shouldn't have been, and I wasn't being told about it. It took her awhile, but at the new place she's finally found her stride with the teacher and the other kids. Her teacher paid her a huge compliment this week by telling me that Maddie was now one of her easier kids to have in class. She said that Madeline loves to learn during class time and pays attention really well and during their play or free time rarely causes (or finds) trouble. I'm so glad to hear that. But, then, I knew that she had it in her. She can be so, so good for me at home.

Ah, a New Semester

So, I applied for a job (which I didn't get), and I put my name in at six different school to substitute teach (who haven't called). And, I'm impatient. I need to know that I'm going to have an income this semester because I may be able to live on Ramen and water, but Madeline cannot. What was my solution?

Take classes, of course!

I'm enrolled in 12 credit hours of classes that I should enjoy including Art and Spanish. I'm also enrolled in Personal Finance, which is probably one that I need, and an upper level English elective. One more semester of student loans won't kill me, right?

Maybe it's just one of those days....or weeks...

Everything will begin to fall into place soon, and I'll find a job or begin substitute teaching. But until then, I'm resting. Or trying to. Getting caught up from all of those all-nighters that I pulled finishing papers or dealing with a sick kid. And I'm not sorry.

My interview for the teaching position at HHS was on Monday. I think that it went very well, considering how hectic my weekend was and how ill-prepared I felt! So, even if you don't want to hear it, here's a play-by-play of my weekend beginning at Friday morning through this morning:

Friday 9am-11am: Wake, breakfast, watch Noggin and/or Nick.
11am-12:45pm: get ready for funeral that I've been asked to play piano for, eat lunch, kiss Maddie good-bye (she hasn't been feeling well, and I don't really want to chase her all over the church during the funeral)
12:45-5:15pm: Travel to and from funeral, play piano, help serve family dinner, etc.
*5pm: Freak out b/c I'm suddenly reminded that it's Friday and I have a "get-together" in an hour and a half that I'm supposed to take food to!
5:15-6:25pm: Change attire, dig through my mother's refrigerator for veggies and sweets, mom quickly bakes some sugar cookies for me, find Oreos unopened (intended for New Year's--woo hoo!), and kiss Maddie good-bye again
6:30pm-3:30am(Sat.):Gab like mad b/c who knows how long it will be before we get together again, even if we want to!! :)
3:35am-6:45am: Arrive at my parents' house, collect my daughter, head to bed, wake up when she does, and send her to grandma!
9:30am: TV is entirely too loud. It's time to wake up.
9:45am: Maddie has hives. I noticed one at 3:30, but was too tired to realize what it was. She's never had hives. Why would she now? Text message two people who might know. My Cousin, RN advises Urgent Care...
11am: leave for Urgent Care in nearby town, mostly to appease my mother, who has not ever seen hives on a little one, and is no help.
11:45am: Two hour wait, Lunchable for Maddie, V8 for me
3pm: Urgent care Nurse Practitioner has no freaking clue what to do and won't even run a throat swab b/c of the hives. Advises Children's [Hospital]. (Note to self: no more urgent care unless I already know what it is!)
*During travel to next Urgent Care, I call my parents who meet me at Children's [Hospital]
3:45pm: Check in at THAT Urgent Care
4 pm: Called back for prelim (this is good)
4:05pm: Sent to "Minor Care" without explanation
4:10-6pm: Wait.
6pm: Friendly doc who diagnoses Maddie with strep throat. Not too concerned about hives. Says hives may be from strep or fever (which she hasn't had, at all). Prescription for Ammoxicillin and recommends Benedryl for hives.
6pm-7pm: Check out of hospital (Couldn't some of this info be taken during my two hour wait?) and find pharmacy across state line that takes my insurance.
7pm-7:30pm drive toward my parents' and find something to eat b/c I've not eaten all day long.
*Attempt (unsuccessfully) to give Madeline her meds. Ugh.
8:30 Arrive at my parents' and crash.
Sunday
6:30am Madeline awakes, chipper. Ugh.
All of Sunday we bum around. Madeline took her medicine better.
Monday
6:30 am: Madeline awakes, chipper. Ugh, again.
6:30-1pm, bum around, do laundry, prepare lunch, etc.
1pm-5:30pm: make sure younger brother can watch Madeline while I interview, prepare, interview (I'm so freakin' nervous!), come home, begin to prepare dinner
5:45pm: I hear Madeline crying in the living room. She says that her neck hurts. My mom arrives home. Madeline begins exhibiting flu-like symptoms.
6:30pm: Madeline is all cleaned up and is asleep on the couch (without dinner)
10:30pm: I go to bed.
Tuesday
6:30am: Madeline awakes, chipper. Geez....

So I took a nap today, and NOW I feel awake. And I should definitely be sleeping. I'm sorry if that was all too much information, but it's been a crazy last few days. Madeline seems totally fine today. She took her medicine like she's supposed to, and I think she had a good day at school too. I'm just hoping that I don't get sick now....